Today in class we discussed children leaving the house and then coming back to live with their family and we had some really good discussion. We got the views that it is not good for the parents or the children as the parents will be unable to get rid of the children and the children will regress to the maturity level of a teenager and may tend to "leech" (for sake of better word) on to the finances and resources of their parents. Other people were more on the idea that there parents are willing and wanting their children to move back in with them. As I review the discussion again think about my own situation. I am in a situation where finding a job next year is not a guarantee and may not happen right away and I may be in the position where I am forced to move back in which my parents. The good thing is that my parents have always repeated the fact that I will always have a place to live no matter what my situation is. I can not explain how much simply knowing this gets rid of many of my worries and greatly lessens my stress levels and anxiety about my future. The other advantage to the situation I find myself in with having an invitation to move back in if I need it is I do not have to rush into a bad situation in hastily choosing a job and maybe cornering myself into a job that I don't want. This is similar to an episode of the office I watched the other week when Darryl and Andy was interviewing people to take over for the warehouse crew as they all quite because they all won the lottery. Darryl asked them why they wanted to work there and one of them responded....."because I need a job"......Darryl then responded you shouldn't take the first job that comes your way, but you want the right job. This is a very similar situation I may find myself in and going home to live with my parents will simply "buy time" until I am unable to find the right situation for me. I don't even know if parents realize that they are doing this....a move that may help both parties out in the long run.
Also when I go back and think of the conversation we had in class I immediately think of the TV series Everyone Loves Raymond. In the show Robert is forced to go back and live with his parents for many years due to numerous reasons. And while he is there the parents continue to remind him that he is there and alot of the time in a way that is poking fun of the fact that he has to live with his parents. However, no matter how much they say they want him to leave they never actually force him to leave and allow him to stay as long as he wants. As I think of the show I think of the many people who I graduated with a few years ago and many of them are still living with there parents due to lack of other options instead of wanting to be there. This raises a few questions that I had for the class:
1. Do you know anyone that is being forced to move back to live with their parents?
2. Do you feel that you will one day be living back with your parents? If so, do you believe that it will be by choice or due to necessity?
3. Do you fear that if you go back and live with your parents, it will put the rest of your life on hold or do you feel that this will benefit you more than it will hurt you?
George,
ReplyDeleteI love your example from the office! (Great show) Anyway, I too will probably be forced to return to live with my parents at least until I can find a job and save up enough money to get my own apartment. I am thinking of applying to do Teach for America so if I do get into that I would be provided with employment and an apartment right out of college but otherwise I will most likely be returning to live with my parents. I don’t think it will put the rest of my life at hold at all. Since I plan on it be a temporary arrangement I think that moving back in with my parents will benefit me more than it will hurt me. I won’t have to pay rent or anything so it will provide me with time to search for a good job without having to worry too much about my finances.
I think that every situation is different in regards to whether or not one should move in with his or her parents as an adult. As one person mentioned in class, I don't think that it is harmful to move home while in transition. However, I think that transitioning and permanently moving in are two totally different concepts. My hope is that I will only have to move in with my parents through transitions.
ReplyDeleteIf I would have to move in with parents for an extended period of time, I do fear that it would putting my life on hold. I say this because my hometown is very small and provides its residents with very few professional opportunities. If I were to move home, I could not even acquire a job that is low-paying, much less one that allows me to grow as a person. This is a thought that I cannot stand to think about and would do all most anything to avoid. I love my parents and know that I am always welcome to stay with them, but I fear that it would be the end of my productivity and would hinder my ability to become a true adult.
I think living with your parents after college has both its ups and downs. It's nice to have a place to go and save up while you are just starting out working. If you are an only child or the youngest, parents also are very excited for you to move back as they are empty nesters and looking for the company. I am the youngest and my parents desperately want me to move back home for them. I always said I would never move back in with my parents after graduation as I have now developed a very close relationship with them that I feel developed from being away. I appreciate them so much now and feel that if I was living with them daily again that I may fall back into my old ways and become easily irritated and not get along so well with them as well. My parents do not have many rules for me or anything like that so that is not the issue. I just think it is important for kids to be out on their own at this age in our life. It is very difficult from going from being away on your own to moving back into your parents household. I know for me at least that my happiness level will probably be much higher if I continue to not live with my parents from this age on out. It's a hard decision to pass up saving so much money by living with them again until I get on my feet but I think it's something that I need to do in order to really expand my horizons.
ReplyDeleteI like all of your responses to my blog. I liked the point the Kayla brought up in talking about the location of your home. The difference between living in a small town and a large city (the opportunities and atmosphere is much different). This is a variable of moving back that I failed to consider and I do agree that the location of where you are moving back makes a big difference
ReplyDeleteExcellent questions, George! Well a lot depends on the culture - the way I view coming back to my mom's house is not how most American sees it. Since Russians in general live with their parents until marriage there is nothing wrong in that, and moreover since the independence is not the quality our parents are nurturing in us, the parents expect us to live with them. Multigenerational homes are very typical. Therefore, if I ever go back to Russia, OF COURSE i will be living with my mom, since i do not see the point why search for the apt and spend all that money if there is home available for me! I do NOT think living with my mom would hurt me in any way but I can definitely see some potential tensions and arguments since i spent so much time in the US and not not used to my mom checking the time I go back home. And also since the society supports the idea of children living with parents it will be easy for my mom to adapt to the fact that I am living with her again.
ReplyDeleteI think that in regards to moving back with your parents after college, every situation is different. Although ideally, it would be nice to be on your own and in your own place, it can be tough for a college graduate to afford their own place. Some people need to work and save up money first in which case moving back home would be a good option. As long as the child doesn't depend on it for a permanent situation or take advantage with having the parents help out with every aspect of their life, then I think it is ok and can have benefits. Personally, I would not choose to move back with my parents although I know they would love that. As empty nesters, they really want me to move back but I think it would be a difficult adjustment after having four years of freedom on my own. It is nice to know that if I ever find myself in a situation where I can't afford a place of my own, my parents will be there for me to offer a place to live.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Chelsea, I think every situation is different in regards to moving back in with parents. After college, it may be financially responsible for people to move back into their parent's homes so that they may be able to save for their future, especially if they have a job near home. Like all of the comments, I also believe that it should be a temporary solution as to not take advantage of our parent's generosity. Personally, I do not want to move back in with my parents. I can absolutely see the benefits of doing so. However, my sister moved back in with my parents after she was done with college and I can see how much stress and strain this puts on their relationship. My parents are ready to downsize. I would not want to get in the way of their dreams just as much as they would not want to get in the way of mine. I know if I needed them, my parents would help me out in any way they could. This is a comfort but I would like to learn about life and try to work things out for myself before resorting to relying on my mom and dad.
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