1. Say I love You
2. Teach your faith
3. Establish a special name or code word
4. Develop and maintain a special bedtime ritual
5. Let your children help you
6. Play with your children
7. Eat meals as a family
8. Seek out one-on-one opportunities often
9. Respect their choices
10. Make them a priority in your life
I know not all of these a relevant any more in everyone's life considering the age of the people in the class but some of these things I believe can still be useful. I was wondering if anyone has used any of these tips when they are with there parents or children? Also, if none of these tips are used today, if any of these tips were used at another point in your life and if anyone has been helped out by these?
I think saying "I love you" is very big among parents and children, at least in my case. With my dad I know that if either of us got off of the phone without saying it the other would be deeply hurt and wonder what was wrong that they didn't say it. I think it is great to serve as a constant reminder but shouldn't be something we say out of routine as it often is. I also think we have become really close because we enjoy a lot of the same things and take the opportunity to seek interest in what the other is interested and spend time doing this together. For example, my father has always loved guns and I have been raised around them so I like them too therefore my dad, brothers, and I will go out together and shoot guns and even though there is no verbal communication we can enjoy doing something we love with each other.
ReplyDeleteIn my family one of the biggest things we try to do to stay close is eat meals as a family. It is difficult because we are all on different schedules, but we try and at least get this one hour a day together. Another and most simplest one os these steps that stands out is make them a priority in your life. If you can't take this simple step, how will the relationship grow and continue?
ReplyDeleteGrowing up, saying "i love you" was a huge part of our family. We said it quite often. I still say it to my parents and brother every time we hang up the phone. In fact, when I was little my brother( who is 4 years older) actually had to ask my mom to teach me that I did not have to say "i love you" every time i left a room. Another huge part of our family was our faith, which was strengthened every sunday by always attending church as a family. We also said a prayer before dinner, and all through my childhood we had family dinners almost every night. While we do not have a code word, a special thing that my family shares is kind of funny- when my brother and I were little we were taught to respond to a "ch-ch" sound. If we are in a crowded room or in a store, rather than shouting mom or dad, we make the "ch-ch" sound and then they would respond with the same sound. While it sounds silly- it is effective and something only our family shares. Whenever anyone in the family does it around friends, they always laugh and want to try. For the rest of the traits mentioned- I feel my parents did mostly all of them. I think these definitely are reasons for why our family is as close as we are.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Alek about the importance of eating together as a family. I know a couple of dysfunctional families, and I honestly have noticed that the one common thread in all of them is that it was "every man for himself" when it came to dinner. So I know that when I have kids, we will definitely be eating together as a family every night. Also, as I get older, I realize the importance respecting my parents choices. I understand now that when my mom is nagging me about something, it's because she wants the best for me. I didn't realize that when I was a teenager, but now it makes sense.
ReplyDeleteI have never had troubles establishing relations with my mom, since there are just 2 of us in the family. She spent all her free time with me, and never had any social life besides taking care of me. I think eat meals as a family is very important especially in the big families, to my mind it gives a child a valuable sense of belonging. Children also should be the priority in parent's lives, and I was, and looking back on how much my mom did and sacrifices for me I respect her even more and even though we are so far away from each other, we are getting closer and closer.
ReplyDeleteI know my parents used to do many of these tips and still do some today. My parents are always saying "I love you" which I think is very valuable especially when I am away at college, it is still nice to hear. Also, eating together as a family has always been very important. Although we are all on different schedules, we have always found time at least a few nights a week to eat dinner as a family. It is the one time of day when we can all relax and catch up together.
ReplyDeleteI believe that eating together is a very important activity that families should follow. Having a daily fmaily dinner ensures that everyone will be together for at least 30 minutes a day. Dinner provides time for families to connect with one another. I believe that the family dinner has been a very important function of our fmaily. If it was not for this, I may go days without seeing my brothers or sister. If families are unable to be together 30 minutes every day, I think it damages the dynamic of the family. Everyone is on their own and no one would have any reason to interact with their other family members.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I find that being away from my parents has definitely strengthened our relationship. My parents are taking me more seriously and realizing that if I don't like the way that they treat me, I have other places to go. This is definitely increasing their image of me. I have noticed that my mom is treating me more as a friend than a child.
ReplyDeleteI feel like these are all really great, but perhaps obvious things that a family should always do. However, sometimes the obvious things are the most difficult. Remembering to say I love you to family members was never hard for me. Its sort of like a reflex. When you say goodbye on the phone, the next thing you say is I love you. It makes me sad to think that in some families, this isn't the case.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Alek about the importance of eating meals with your family. Even if it is not possible to do it once a day I think it is important for families to set aside a time each week to have dinner together to discuss whats new in lives and just to stay in touch. By developing this habit when children are young it will become important part of the week for a family even when children are older and they have their own families.
ReplyDeleteMy family has always been big on saying "I love you". Every time we talk on the phone, that is how we end the conversation. I also agree with some of the above statements about eating dinner together. My family tried to make sure we ate together a few times a week but it was difficult when we were all on different schedules. I know live alone and notice the importance it has on an individual. My sister and I try to get together to have dinner at least once a week but it is definitely not the same as everyone together.
ReplyDeleteMy family and I are very close and we follow a lot of the tips on this list. Like others have mentioned, we say “I love you” at the end of every phone conversation that we have, even if we just called to ask a quick question or are arguing with each other. We also try to eat dinner together as a family, although our work and/or class schedules sometimes make this difficult. In addition to this, we often spend time together one-on-one and try to do something together as a family at least once or twice a month. As my sister and I have gotten older, we have gotten even closer and I think that the bond that we share now will keep us from drifting apart in the future.
ReplyDeleteMy family is very close as well, Lynnette. Oddly enough, the majority of the list absolutely applies to things my family already does. We say I love you often and make each other a priority. We have always eaten dinner as a family at the dinner table, a tradition that I cherish and will continue with my family some day. We all have very odd nicknames, something who are closest to us knows. For example, we call my brother kitty, my mom guava, my dad faja, my mom calls me lilly, my dad calls my sister punky (as in pumpkin). It may seem odd to others, but to us it is very normal. My sister and I are very close and spend a lot of time together. We all respect each other and our personal values. However, it is easy to because we all have similar thoughts on issues (probably stems from being raised in the same household). I am so blessed to live in the family situation that I do. Like Stasia's, our family grew closer when the children left the house. Once my parents were able to give us more autonomy and we now somewhat live separate lives, we try very hard to come together when we can and definitely make the most of our times together. I think these tips have been useful for my family and I think they could be useful to others in the future.
ReplyDeleteMy family is very close as well. A lot of things on the list are/have been done in my family. Doing anything together as a family can strengthen the relationships.
ReplyDelete