Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Blog #3
Last week in class during our current event class discussion a question was about how siblings deal with problem as they age and it took me a few days to think about this. I believe that the foundations of how siblings, whether it be brother-brother, sister-sister or sister brother, deal with each is established when they are at a young age. I believe that the amount to which this happens depends on how close in age the siblings are, whereas the ones that are closer in age will have a more developed foundation for these siblings. I believe that the closer that siblings are in age the stronger there relationship will be and that is not to say that siblings that have a large age gap cannot have a strong relationship I just believe that you can substitute the bond you have when you are close in age. Someone mentioned that they fight a ton with their siblings and i believe that this due to how close the two are....ironically siblings that are really close can have this closeness bring them apart at times. But once a foundation is established when you are younger you will continue these same types of problem solving behavior into adulthood. Sure it wont be the exact same as problem solving skills grow and people mature but the basic approaches will not change and always remain the same. Examples: if siblings resolve conflicts when they were younger by yelling than I believe they will continue to yell as they get older.
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I agree that if siblings yell at each other when they are younger to resolve issues, then this will continue into adulthood. I have a younger brother and older sister there is a difference on how I deal with issues with them separately. My brother and I can talk things out when something is bothering us and my sister and I yell at each other and then talk later. My mother was a single parent and always made us work things out when we fought. It helps me as an adult now. Good post!
ReplyDeleteI would have to respectfully disagree with some of this. For instance my brothers beat me up when I was younger and we would yell and scream at each other. Today, however, my brothers would never lay a hand on me nor do we hardly ever fight. We killed each other as kids and are best friends today. My brothers are actually one of my strongest support systems. I think that even if kids fight and yell, they can solve arguments in a different fashion once they are older. Often times kids are just being kids and they are not mature enough to solve issues in any other way once fights arise between each other. I don't believe any pattern has to stay the same throughout the years but rather anything can change once once the people in the relationship mature and develop.
ReplyDeleteI think when it comes to sibling relations everything depends on the parents' ability to teach children conflict management and problem solving skills,parent-child relations, children's personalities. As Devin mentioned what started as a fight ended up as close friendship. While my mother has the opposite experience - being close in age with her brother she was never close to him. And even now when they are in their early 60s, they do not share anything (call each other only to check if they are alive). So just because something started as a fight, does not guarantee to turn into friendship and vice versa. What started as a fight might end up as distant relations or close relations. There are so many factors that play a role, so being close in age, and a good foundations established in childhood is not always the case!
ReplyDeleteI agree with you George because both of my children are 10 years apart. My son just turned 20 and my daughter will be 10 in a couple of weeks. While they love one another, the age difference does affect their closeness. My son can't talk about girl stuff, peer pressure, school issues, etc with his younger sister. He relies mostly on peers of his own age. My daughter, on the other hand, still plays with toys and talks a whole lot. She also teases him at every chance gets. It aggravates my son to a pulp because he is past the playing with toys and teasing stage. They argue with one another all the time!! I now see why its good for siblings to be close in age (like me and my own siblings) because we share and talked about common things and got along, which my children are unable to do at times.
ReplyDeleteI do agree that age difference can affect how close siblings are. It is probably easier to be closer to a sibling who is closer in age. This may be because siblings close in age, probably will live at home together for a longer time compared to siblings whom may be far apart in age. My brother and I were not very close when we were in high school or even when he went off to college. Now that I am in college, we are much closer and I would even consider him one of my best friends now. I think that as we continue to get older, we will continue to get closer. So even though siblings are not close when they are young, does not mean that it will be that way later in life.
ReplyDeleteI agree that learning to resolve conflicts with siblings is an important part of growing up. These conflict resolution skills are something that can be carried with you for the rest of your life. While young, it seems like that you and your sibling will never get along, but as you both age, you learn to apprecieate one another.
ReplyDeleteI would agree that age does have an effect on the closeness of a sibling relationship. My mother and her sister are only about 4 years a part. But my mother always states that the relationship she has with her sister isn't as close as my sister and me. My sister and I are the same age and I feel this has so much to do with the closeness of our relationship. A lot of things that we went through in life has been together. Since we are the same age, we have experienced a lot together. I feel that when siblings are farther a part in their age, it is difficult for them to relate to each other. The love is still there, but the closeness is subject to change.
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